Empty Nest Syndrome: Tips for Adults Adjusting to Grown Children Leaving Home

Blogs27 Aug 2024

Raising children and caring for them takes a lifetime. Most parents dedicate 20-25 years of their lives as caregivers and once their children leave their homes to navigate adulthood and new waters, parents can often feel lost. This feeling of confusion and sadness parents feel once their kids leave is called empty nest syndrome.

In this article, we’ll discuss what empty nest syndrome is, how it affects parents and some ways in which they can overcome this phase.

What is Empty Nest Syndrome?

The grief a middle-aged parent feels when all their children leave the family home to embrace adulthood is called Empty Nest Syndrome. This syndrome elicits several emotional responses from adults such as guilt, worry, somatic symptoms, anger, resentment, irritability, frustration and loneliness. These responses could be the beginning of more serious mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.

Women tend to face this grief more commonly because they spend decades of their lives being primary caregivers. Adults going through other major life changes like retirement and menopause may feel this sadness more deeply.

Nonetheless, an empty nest syndrome does not always invoke negative feelings! Many times, parents feel relief after the end of their immediate parental responsibilities and even some excitement about their newfound freedom.

Empty Nest Syndrome Psychology: How Valid is it?

When talking about empty nest syndrome, it’s also important to discuss its validity. Many biological and life changes occur during the same period when adults face empty nest syndrome such as the natural transition of ageing, menopause, changes in professional life, death of spouse or parents, ailing elderly parents and caregiving, etc. Many believe that an empty nest syndrome often ties in with perimenopause, a time right before a woman’s final menstrual cycle which is full of hormonal changes. One of the effects of these imbalances could be depression, which some think is what is interpreted as an empty nest syndrome.

Regardless of whether an empty nest syndrome is a myth or not, we can agree that adults may face a transitory period in their middle ages where their children leave homes and they face other changes in their physical and mental health. Such transitions could cause emotional responses and give rise to various feelings. But it’s not the end of the road. There are many helpful ways in which adults can cope with these feelings and emerge stronger.

Empty Nest Syndrome Coping Strategies and Tips

Here are some tips to help you navigate this crucial time and revive your midlife:

1. Reconnecting with Your Partner or Spouse: Speak with your partner about your feelings and hear them out. Reach out to them and discuss ways in which you can support one another during this period. You may even want to start new traditions and pick up different activities together to rebuild your connection.
2. Finding New Hobbies and Interests: Even without your partner, you must try to think of how you want to spend your life post-children. Now that you may have more time on your hands and fewer responsibilities, sit down and think of things you always wanted to do but never got around to doing. Make a list of hobbies, activities and goals you want to achieve, and start working on them!
3. Give yourself time: Big changes are harder to adjust to. Give yourself grace and time to get used to them slowly. Avoid pressuring yourself and feeling bad for not having adjusted well enough.
4. Connect with your community: It takes a village to pull off most things, and this is true for your midlife as well. Surround yourself with friends and family who support you and stay patient with you. Reach out to those who have been in similar situations to take their advice and more.
5. Make new friends: Increasing your social circle can expand your horizons and make you more open to new possibilities. By joining group classes, going to local events, and taking part in community activities, you could come across like-minded people who are relatable and make your life enriched and new!
6. Check-in with your kids regularly: It doesn’t matter how far away they are; you can always stay connected to your children with the power of technology. You must realise that your role as a parent has not ended, but simply changed. Embrace your devices to regularly check in with your children. Share your worries and advise them on their lives to keep your bond strong and healthy.
7. Focus on the positives: We know it’s hard, but it could be helpful to focus on the positive side of things during this period. Things like more freedom, free schedules, more space at home and fewer day-to-day stressors can be some examples of positives. Additionally, you can also look forward to building your relationships and making stronger connections as you grow.

Conclusion

Empty nest syndrome occurs during a period of transition, where one mainly experiences their children leaving family homes for adult pursuits. This parting and emptying of the nest bring up feelings of sadness, loneliness, confusion and more in some adults. Pairing this with the natural process of ageing, retirement, financial strains, relationship issues, ailing parents etc., can cause these feelings to worsen. The best way to deal with these responses is by choosing to fill your life up with hobbies and work that you have always wanted to do, building stronger connections with your spouses, siblings and friends, growing your social circle, and so on. If you are in a similar boat, make these changes to see a difference!

Looking for a community of like-minded middle-aged people who are trying to focus on being their best new self? Check out Right Shift. We are champions for healthy ageing, giving you information, tools and a community to motivate you to lead a healthy and happy midlife. Try our free tools such as our free health score calculator and our free meal plan creator to start this healthy ageing journey today!